{"id":3724,"date":"2020-01-02T15:37:22","date_gmt":"2020-01-02T23:37:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wordsmithwisdom.com\/?p=3724"},"modified":"2020-01-02T15:37:22","modified_gmt":"2020-01-02T23:37:22","slug":"annual-physical","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wordsmithwisdom.com\/?p=3724","title":{"rendered":"Annual Physical"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

         \n    Annual Physical<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rip and tear your underwear.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You won\u2019t need them once in there.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will ask you to take them off.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then say; \u201cTurn your head and cough.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will put a finger where the sun don\u2019t shine.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will ask you if you feel fine.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A finger in your sack and ask you to cough.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hit your knee with a hammer. It won\u2019t be soft.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Follow his finger back and forth.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t forget to show him your wart.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A big breath and let it out slowly.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over and over. Holy molly. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

All the time something cold on your back.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This could bring on a heart attack.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Open wide and say aahhh.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is there something stuck in my crawl?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This split gown is exposing my ass.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This metal table is colder than glass.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I can endure all of this, I am in great shape.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some annual physical. It\u2019s about all I can take.——<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

—————————————-R.W. Johnson—–(2020)<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

              Annual Physical Rip and tear your underwear. You won\u2019t need them once in there. They will ask you to take them off. Then say; \u201cTurn your head and cough.\u201d They will put a finger where the sun don\u2019t shine. They will ask you if you feel fine. A finger in your sack and ask … Continue reading Annual Physical<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3724","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsmithwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3724","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsmithwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsmithwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsmithwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsmithwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3724"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsmithwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3724\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3725,"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsmithwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3724\/revisions\/3725"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsmithwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3724"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsmithwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3724"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsmithwisdom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3724"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}